This poor baby needed a bit of help getting out of the tube
are you going to make shoelaces as well
so we don’t have to steal them from the president
transmedwaterdeer
Bad addition to an already bad post
thank you that was my intention.
I’m tempted to add a supernatural gif here but I’m exercising some self control
QUICK, SOMEONE BRING IN SHERLOCK
STOP
this is a farely recent post but it has an ancient tumblr vibe to it
Enkidu! ✨
[video: a seal emerges from a hole in the ice to breathe. It yells “Ah! Woo!” then sinks back down]
The ahh was so much deeper and the woo so much softer than i could have expected i love it
The Promised Neverland [ED]
retail story time: ive probably told you this before but like a year ago at work i was closing and we are like five minutes from closing the doors and leaving. it’s late. we close at 10pm during the holiday season and it was like 9:56 when this woman walks in with a shopping cart.
now, if you work in retail, you know this sort of customer. those assholes who walk in right before you close and take their time shopping and act like they dont notice the announcements that “the store is now closed. please bring your final selection up to the front for checkout.” or that every employee is so fucking done for the night and want to get home. or that they are the only customer in the store. and when they have a shopping cart, you know they’re gonna be a while.
so a solid half hour after we are officially closed this woman comes to my register, because i am the only one open. because it’s ten fucking thirty pm and everyone else is ready to leave and ive been stuck here for eleven hours because someone called out and i was already there and a fucking idiot.
and this woman, she’s a Suburban Mom ™ type and, like all the fucking moms who come into this store, she doesnt have a coupon because she expects us to just give it to her. and we will, if they ask. except i, after a solid hour of no customers and foolishly thinking nobody would come, had gotten rid of my coupons a few minutes before she walked in. so when she asks if i had a coupon i say no, i’m sorry, i don’t have one at the register.
and this woman, she leans in and tells me “you know, i’m a professional psychic.” and i think “oh christ here we go”
and long island medium here, immune to the glares of the other employees who want her to just fucking pay and leave, goes on and on about this boy who loves me. we are soul mates, she says. destined to be. but there is a power keeping us apart. she mentions this “power” keeping me from mr. right several times.
i, exhausted and frustrated and wanting to go home, reply “is it the power of me being a lesbian?”
she pays and leaves without another word.
